James Hetfield Leaves Rehab, Liquor Stores Everywhere Celebrate

James Hetfield is out of rehab and promises not to hit the bottle, or anything or anyone else until the band begins their tour. Earlier this year the singer for Metallica took a “vacation” to rehab where he bumped into mainstays Jim Breuer and Taylor Hawkins, who all attempted to get high by licking each other instead of an amazon toad. Hetfield was interviewed in a speeding car which was reportedly on it’s way to a seedy and murky part of town, when the voice of a metal generation commented that he is “feeling rather good about life”…seconds later he scored. This quote might have been written by James or an intern who runs the official metallica.com site, “My rough road has
become smoother reading the show of
support from the friends I’ve met through
Metallica. Thank you. They move me
deeply.” Metallica is still the richest band in rock and roll, and will most likely attempt to squeeze more money from it’s loyal brigade in the new year, as talks of a new album without bassist Jason Newsted are in the works.

Source: metallica.com

Related:
  1. James Hetfield Says Hello Rehab, Give Me The Rock Star Treatment
  2. James Hetfield Has A Baby Girl, Department Of Child Services On Alert
  3. James Hetfield Hooks Up With Country Unknown?
  4. Jason Newsted Leaves Metallica
  5. Libertines’ Self-Titled New Record In Stores At End Of August
 
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