Another year has gone by and my heart still aches for my beloved Brian. I woke up this morning with a pain in my heart and tears in my eyes…..Over the last year, there have been days when I truly have felt like I live in the greatest country in the world. Days when I sit on a beach with my closest friends, watch the waves come in, maybe watch the guys play horseshoes, those are the kind of days I absolutely LIVE for. Or days when I go visit my folks and marvel at my dad’s insane gardening skillz, and my mom’s amazing abilities in the kitchen…. I mean, on those days, love feels truly tangible. Then there are days when I see people attack each other, in both the literal and figurative sense… I see Americans display their imperialistic colors and then try to shove it down the throats of human beings worldwide. Those are the days when I wonder where the sense of community that enveloped the US post 9/11 went so wrong.
So, since looking at the state of the world has become maddening, I am now trying to look at life personally…. I will continue to be good to people around me. After all is said and done, if religion fails and government crumbles, all we have is each other, right? All we can do is be GOOD to one another already!! My family, my friends, they are #1, always. Sometimes I have had friends wonder why I give such big hugs and kisses whenever I first see them and whenever I say goodbye…. I say, “Why not? I want you to know exactly how I feel about you!”
Brian was one of the most loving, most giving guys I ever knew. As one of the best fucking firefighters in NEW YORK CITY, he committed his life to being good to everyone. I am always so proud of who he was, and I am really trying to model my life and my goodness after his.
Lots of scattered thoughts, I know. I’ll just leave you with the little mantra I try to live my life by:
Be loving. Be kind. Be tolerant. Enjoy your life everyday. Never forget.
BIG HUGS, BIG KISSES – Sheneza
Source: Sheneza Mohammed, MCT Management
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