Jack Bauer Vs. Chuck Norris In “Random Facts” Battle Royale


Did anyone ever send you a link to a list of random, made up and meaningless facts about Chuck Norris? If not, click here for an example. These “random facts,” which are actually just a bunch of one-liners about Chuck Norris being awesome and kicking peoples asses (ex. “#4. It is common knowledge that there are three sides to the force: The Light Side, The Dark Side, and Chuck Norris”), have been flying around the internet for a few months now and people think it’s hilarious (I say “people” because I never really “got it”). Hipster t-shirt makers have even started selling Ts with Chuck’s likeness on them alongside one of any number of Norris-inspired quotes. One might even call the whole Chuck Norris joke thing a “phenomenon.” In fact, my 50-year-old uncle from Arkansas even sent me a link to these random quotes because he finds them “unbelievably funny.”

Well now a new, perhaps more-deserving person has been thrown into the “random facts” ring – Jack Bauer. Those of you who watch 24 are well aware of the fact that Jack Bauer is a badass, and thusly, might find these new “random facts” amusing (stipulation: when I say new, I mean new to me. The link below was clearly posted in January, but that doesn’t change the fact that (a) I really love 24, and (b) these jokes are kinda funny.)

Here are 30 random facts about Jack Bauer from the folks at Astrochimp. Scroll down to find a “comments” section that contains an additional 1 billion like-minded random facts, some of which are actually amusing.

If you don’t watch 24 and don’t know who Jack Bauer is, then sorry for wasting your time.

Related:
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  4. Jack Black + Napoleon Dynamite = Nacho Libre
  5. Virgin Mobile Festival Lineup Includes Wilco & Chuck Berry
 
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