[photo from StrawberryLipglossOnCigarettes]

Ever since the collective frenzy we all worked ourselves into worrying what was going to happen to the world when the clock struck midnight on January 1, 2000, New Years have become cause for worry and constant concern. Now as that fateful date approaches again, we find ourselves asking — what horrors does 2009 hold? Luckily, former Sleater-Kinney guitarist and writer/blogger Carrie Brownstein has the answers for us via an extremely informative psychic/astrological reading.

Brownstein’s music and culture blog for NPR, Monitor Mix, featured a video interview this week with Andy Gehrz, an astrologer and pyschic who offered up her predictions on what kind of havoc 2009 would wreak on the music world. Other than the fact that this kind of stuff is just funny, because she seems to really believe what she’s saying, Andy seems to think some pretty serious business is going to go down in the next 12 months.

Among other things, Pitchfork is going to buy Rolling Stone, Jeff Tweedy of Wilco will have a mid-life crisis, Arcade Fire is apparently going synth, and The Shins have some sort of cultural responsibility to live out that involves finding lesser-known bands and taking them on tour. Very noble. Beth Ditto and some unnamed girl from Georgia with a lot of tattoos will both enjoy lots of success, and in case you were wondering, Justin Vernon of Bon Iver is some breed of super Taurus.

But probably the most shocking predicition Andy made — she said other stuff about Lil Wayne getting a DUI and Kanye West making a political statement, but we said shocking — was when she suggested that Kris Novoselic and Dave Grohl will reunite Nirvana with a rotating cast of lead singers. As a tribute. Uh huh.

Check out the video for more very important predictions about The Fleet Foxes, Neko Case, Vampire Weekend and others. And maybe it’s just us, but there is something quite entertaining about a 30-something, red-headed, glasses-wearing, white, female astrologer saying, “I have something to say about Lil Wayne.”

Andy Gehrz, Astrological Detective
Monitor Mix

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