We’ve seen some of the worst lyrics lists floating around, but our friends at the Village Voice took it one step further and instituted a NCAA-style bracket system to determine the winner.
Writer Rob Harvilla “provided a trusted colleague with the 16 artists who qualified and had him assign seeds.” The seeds were broken up into two brackets — Bono and ODB. You can see the “terrifying mélange of appalling oral-sex requests, bargain-bin philosophies, grammatical atrocities, and cringe-inducing pillow talk” that made the brackets below, but to avoid stealing this story completely, you’ll have to go here to see the completed bracket and the winner of the worst lyrics of 2008.
ODB Bracket
1. The Killers “Human”
Lyrical line: Are we human / or are we dancer?
2. Weezer “The Greatest Man That Ever Lived”
Lyrical line: You try to play it cool like you just don’t care / But soon I’ll be playin’ in your underwear.
3. Nickelback “Something In Your Mouth”
Lyrical line: You look so much cuter with something in your mouth.
4. Lady GaGa “Boys Boys Boys”
Lyrical line: Love it when you call me ‘Legs’ / In the morning buy me eggs.
5. The Streets “Alleged Legends”
Lyrical line: Do what you think’s right and you will feel all right / ‘Cause when you’re bad you will feel sad / That’s the religion I live by.
6. Usher “Trading Places”
Lyrical line: Skip dinner and gon’ rent a movie / You order Chinese food right before you do me.
7. Nas “My President Is Black”
Lyrical line: She ain’t a politician / Honey’s a pole-i-tician.
8. T-Pain “Therapy”
Lyrical line: I don’t need your sex / I’ll masturbate.
Bono Bracket
1. Lil Wayne “Dr. Carter”
Lyrical line: Swagger tighter than a yeast infection / Fly go hard like geese erection.
2. Metallica “Broken, Beat & Scarred”
Lyrical line: What don’t kill you make you more strong.
3. Kate Nash “Mariella”
Lyrical line: If I want to think / I’ll think with my head.
4. Katy Perry “Hot N Cold”
Lyrical line: You change your mind like a girl changes clothes / You PMS like a bitch / I would know.
5. Ne-Yo “So You Can Cry”
Lyrical line: I won’t attend your pity party / I’d rather go have calamari.
6. Lucinda Williams “Honey Bee”
Lyrical line: I’m so glad you stung me / Now I’ve got your honey / All over my tummy.
7. The Game “My Life”
Lyrical line: Hated on so much / Passion of Christ need a sequel.
8. Pharrell on Common’s “Announcement”
Lyrical line: My dick is like a Blow Pop, baby.
December 18th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
nickelback, really? my vote is for lil’ wayne, and nas’s deserves the BEST lyric of 2008, not worst. what happened to the atrocious lyric of rhyming “mansion” and “wisconsin” in the t-pain/lil wayne song? that shit is just wrong…
December 19th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Actually, the Killers line is “Are we human, or are we DENSER?” Not “dancer.” I will admit it sounds like it though…but that should bump The Killers outta the top spot and bump up T-Pain. Seriously, dude?
December 22nd, 2008 at 3:59 am
ACTUALLY, the line is in fact “dancer”, not “denser”. Get your facts straight. It came from a quotation by Gonzo.
February 22nd, 2009 at 8:27 pm
ya, but its dancer when it should be dancers
March 5th, 2009 at 4:55 pm
There is obviously a lot to know about this. I think you made some good points in Features also.
April 25th, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I don’t often comment on blogs but just needed to stop and say that I like yours.
April 26th, 2009 at 5:56 am
well, thanks william! stop by more often.