Billboard gives out awards for things like “Woman of the Year” and this time around the honor goes to none other than Beyonce Knowles. Because she pwns everyone on earth when it comes to dropping hits, warbling lines, giving face, wearing clothes, shaking booty, following choreography, dancing in heels, smiling coyly, being wonder-womany, getting crazy French designers to come out of retirement solely for the purpose of outfitting her bodacious bod, and making tracks like “Single Ladies” that inspire five year olds everywhere to do the “put a ring on it” dance while riding their little razor scooters (this actually happened). Because she is Sasha Fierce. Because she sang at the frigging inauguration ball. The party line, via Billboard: “Beyoncé is a multi-platinum artist and a multi-talented woman who clearly embodies the qualities of excellence and achievement that the Billboard Woman Of The Year Award was created to honor,” said Bill Werde, Billboard’s Editorial Director, about Beyoncé, who is the only performer in the 51-year history of the Billboard Hot 100 to top the chart for 10 weeks or more with a group and as a solo artist. “She has not only influenced pop culture with her hit songs and signature dance moves, but has inspired women everywhere with her unique style, business savvy and dedication to charitable causes.” So basically, she is awesome and we all suck for not being her. We should be ashamed of ourselves.
