The internet has their hinterlands in a heezy today over the just-released behind the scenes short of Spike Jonze pretending to smack Kanye West across the face for over-texting. What has ensued is a sideshow of Kanye-haters witnessing their most orgiastic fantasies enacted and gleefully, droolingly soaking it up—a reprise of the true colors unloosed during the Taylor Swift incident. The public vitriol towards Kanye even inspired Pitchfork to refer to it as a “bitchslapping,” which, to us, translates as either they [everyone] newly think of Kanye as belonging to the same lower caste as women, or they [everyone] think of women as belonging to the same lower caste as Kanye. Either way, society, women, Kanye, progressiveness, victims of domestic violence, Rihanna, people who die in barfights, and your mother all lose—as does humor, because to be honest, this shit ain’t that funny. WELCOME TO BUMMER SUMMER! GUY DEBORD AND LUCIFER TAKE ALL!

The latest round of Kanye publicity (as so ingeniously generated by his crazy-ass moves at the MTV Video Music Awards) is focusing on the singer’s alleged drinking problems, suggesting that Kanye might best be served by heading to rehab to deal with his supposed alcoholism. Such chatter is based on Kanye’s possession of a bottle of Hennessey cognac bottle while walking on the red carpet at the VMAs, which he apparently drank in its entirety (and whose influence is purported to explain and justify his later outburst). Celebrity gossip magazines are saying that West plans to head to rehab once he finishes his upcoming tour with Lady Gaga.

Courtney Hazlett at MSNBC argues that rehab shouldn’t be viewed as “just another way to say you’re sorry,” pointing to Mel Gibson and Michael Richards as examples where “headline-making slurs aren’t erased by any such stint.” I would agree wholeheartedly and would also add that this is not the first time that West has stooped to such a level (remember his berating of Justice when they “robbed” him of another MTV award?) and therefore maybe it can’t all be blamed on the alcohol.

Honestly, Kanye West is an undeniable genius. Before anyone has even hashed out whether his VMA mic-snatch from Taylor Swift was a stunt or bona fide drunken meltdown, Kanye is already making new news with this video promo for he and Lady Gaga’s upcoming Fame Kills tour, which promises to be a subtle and classy affair from start to finish, no doubt. What is a little dubious is whether the two will actually alternate top-billing throughout the tour, as they have claimed they will, and who will have the first temper tantrum over haute couture. Over/under is Kanye by Saskatoon. Make your picks in the comments, and view the full tour dates after the jump.

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Admittedly we don’t have many Presidential posts on the ole (Trip)wire over here, but if Barack keeps firing shots at music royalty we might just have to give him some more digital ink. Apparently, the President made an off the record comment stating so much last night that a reporter (ABC’s Terry Moran) ran with (err… Twittered with). ABC issued an apology and what not, but we’re pretty sure this will work out just fine for Obama in the end as at the moment it’s sort of like saying Orrin Hatch is old. (Via: Vulture via Politico)

So if you have a TV or a Facebook account or have ever heard of a blog, you probably heard Kanye might be getting the axe as Beyonce’s publicist after the weekend’s events. Just in case you have none of the above, a quick recap: 19-year old girl who is not Beyonce wins funny-shaped award, Kanye angry, you wouldn’t like Kanye angry, steals microphone, antics ensue. Well, word is ‘Ye actually sort of apologized on his blog, saying he thinks Swift is very talented and “I like the lyrics about being a cheerleader and she’s in the bleachers!” So that’s fun. When we were writing this, Kanye’s blog actually couldn’t be accessed to confirm. Either that or he was speechless? That seems likely. (Via: SPIN via KanyeUniverseCity)