First, they played the Velvet Underground in that movie on the Factory with Sienna Miller that nobody saw. Now, to demonstrate how absolutely cutting edge they are, Weezer have decided to simultaneously cover MGMT’s “Kids” and Lady Gaga’s “Pokerface.” Another sign of the apocalypse, and yet another of the many signs of Weezer’s complete slide into absolute irrelevance. Confidential to Rivers Cuomo: rapping “I am bluffin’ with my muffin” may cause your audience’s ears to bleed. Just a heads up.

As if Perez Hilton’s nefarious activities weren’t enough to signal the impending end of the world, two more news stories seem to signal that we are headed down a dark path whose only rational end is the destruction of mankind.

The literary world, as if it hadn’t been hobbled enough already by the blog book trend, is now further threatened: Jay-Z has signed a book deal. The book will purportedly consist of Jay-Z’s analysis of his own lyrics, although it is also rumored that he has signed a multi-book deal to include a “traditional” memoir and a business book as well.

In the musical realm, beware an attack of self-described “bath-time music”; Basement Jaxx will release two LPs this fall. The first album, Scars, will feature collaborations with Santigold and Yoko Ono, among others; the second, untitled LP (and “bath-time music” album), is allegedly “Pink Floyd-y, more ambient-y stuff.” Yes, ambient-y.