According to reliable sources, Fox Searchlight is reportedly in negotiations to produce a film based on the book “I Slept with Joey Ramone (A Family Memoir).” The book, which is set to hit stores in December, was written by Ramone’s brother Mickey Leigh, who is himself a punk rocker, and Ramones biographer and author of punk insider history Please Kill Me Legs McNeil. While we have no doubt the book will be an entertaining and enlightening read, how the adaptation will turn out is slightly less rosy. First, the problem of casting: the Ramones were pretty distinct looking guys from Forest Hills, and though Williamsburg has its share of dirtbag-y knockoffs, the producers would really need to comb the streets and convince some genuine Queens natives to go full method to get it right. Though, knowing Hollywood, someone has already called Bradford Cox and called him “bro” several times. Problem two: the Lower East Side no longer exists, so they will have to green-screen CBGB back on Bowery and remove the 8,000 glass and steel condos that surround it. Maybe they could just say punk was born in the Whole Foods on Houston Street. Begin anticipating the film now and pick up the book on December 1st. If you’re in NYC, get it directly from Leigh and McNeil at the Barnes & Noble Tribeca on Warren Street, where they will be signing books and doing a Q&A session.

Dedicated to those songs that I can’t stop playing, humming, or thinking about; the 4+ minutes you fall head-over-heels in love with. Past instances have included Matthew Sweet’s “Girlfriend,” Led Zeppelin’s “C’mon Everybody,” and M.I.A.’s “Paper Planes.”

The active ownership of and listening to demo cuts acts as a barometer for fanship. You might love a band or an album, but do you love a band or album so much that you need to hear alternate versions of the songs you’ve already memorized? Since the CD revolution, the tagging on of previously-unreleased material to old albums only attracts the super fan. I like Elvis Costello, but I can honestly say I only have the demo tapes attached to the Special Edition of This Year’s Model because it came that way. On the other hand, it turns out that I love the Ramones more than I realized, and I knew that I really loved them. The demos attached to their re-issued material are not just bonus features to me; they’ve become essential tracks. I’m tempted to call Ramones demos “cheating” since most of their material (save for the less-produced cuts from End of the Century) plays like demos to begin with. They weren’t big on thinking. They were more about catching lightning in a bomb and exploding.

“Smash You” is one of those quintessential discoveries among the Ramones’ previously unreleased treasures. It sounds exactly like every other Ramones song (like they all do) and it rocks as hard as every other Ramones song (like they all do). From the count at the top to the effortless way they coax a sing-along out of the listener, the song’s true power is in its relentlessness. Like their greatest songs before it, “Smash You” feels like a full-speed horse race that never lets up. The only switch up comes at the perfect 3/4 moment where, nearing the final turn, we stay in one key, get everyone to sing the same thing twice, remount, and repeat.

I’m not gonna solve all the Ramones’ problems, in music or otherwise. But I can’t help lamenting the fact that “Smash You” — representing such a higher-than-normal high for one of the greatest bands to walk the Earth — is underrepresented. This happens to many bands of course, but it seems to be a habit for the Ramones. Despite glories in sound, songs like “S.L.U.G.” never found a proper home. “Babysitter” isn’t technically part of the album “Leave Home” and “Please Don’t Leave” never stayed around and now “Smash You”. The deck is stacked against these guys.

I’m thankful that I was the right kind of lazy — the cheap kind — when I purchased Too Tough To Die — on iTunes instead of buying the CD used. It’s a constant war, my battle with laziness; sometimes I avoid the pricey end of stuff and win, sometimes I indulge and lose. It was a difference of ONE dollar between a used original-version CD and this extended edition. The coolest part about “Smash You” in the context of the album is that it serves like a second album closer. I can only assume they didn’t include the song in the original release because Ritchie had a hand in writing it, and they were all kind of dumb and jealous and mean that way.

Not that it would have made much difference in the world. It still would have been one more song in a long list of ignored-by-the-planet songs from a prolific, unapologetically awesome band. And, yes, that’s been lamented a million times before (and, yes, I’ve even called myself out like this before about another band)… but this time it seems particularly apropos. The Beatles are the most popular band ever, so it’s less difficult to find a cut song from one of their less popular albums. Listening to a song so perfect — so obviously excellent — inspires me to write columns complaining about why people don’t profess their undying devotion to this perfect, obviously excellent music. What blows me away now is that with 20/20 hindsight on our side, the Ramones don’t have any radio play on classic rock stations. They wrote pop songs. They wrote songs you could sing to. They wrote songs that rock. It’s all right here in “Smash You”.

Like “Smash You”’s exclusion from the album, it’s gotta be about money. With Ritchie writing the song, and the band’s notoriously tight purse strings, the powers that be must have excluded the song to hog a little cash. The only other possible reason for depriving the world of this song could be that “Too Tough” was already full of great songs anyway. But you still had “Animal Boy” and “Halfway to Sanity” with Ritchie, and they certainly aren’t as wall-to-wall great as “Too Tough”. I mean, I love “Go Li’l Camaro Go”, but I’m not an idiot.

Then again, perhaps society is to blame. Again. “Too Tough To Die” was the group’s eighth studio album, and fifth “greatest” album. Prior to 1985, they had pumped out substantially fantastic music that was largely ignored by the mainstream world, and that has to do something to the band’s selection process. Perhaps by the time this song came around, their assessment of what’s “good” was way out of whack. At some point they must have thought, “If ‘I Wanna Be Sedated’ can’t get airplay, what chance does this song have?’”

And maybe it’s the burden of being uncompromising pioneer morons that holds the truth. The song technically deals with lurid subject matter: a guy is so pissed at his pill-popping girl that he wants to smash her. But it also seems pretty harmless. He doesn’t want to cut her up and throw her in the trunk. He wants to “smash” her. The vocabulary seems childlike, tied more to the Incredible Hulk than an actual abusive relationship. There’s sadness and humor walking hand in hand in this song, especially in the line “you’re the best girl that I’ve ever had.” It comes after 3 previous verses of steam-from-the-ears fury, and portrays more relatable truth that anyone cares to admit. This guy is settling, even if it means fist fights on the street and dealing with her mood swings.

As a kind of tribute, I’m attaching a video of a demo for this song with Ritchie singing. The guy managed the impossible, being an outsider who wrote a song more Ramones than the Ramones were playing, and he deserves more credit for it. The studio cut has a bit more Ramones magic, but as you can hear in this early cut, the components were there.

Today would be Joey Ramone’s 58th birthday, and tonight Joey’s brother, Mickey Leigh, will be hosting the official birthday bash at the Fillmore at Irving Plaza in NYC. Among the guests will be special appearances by the likes of Handsome Dick Manitoba and Tommy Ramone. But if you don’t have a ticket to the show, you won’t have to wait long to see Handsome Dick and Tommy — along with Lenny Kaye and Chris Stein — again. Ladies and gentlemen, may we present the Loud Fast Jews!

Four Jewish punk rock fathers — Ramones founder and original drummer Tommy Ramone (born Tamas Erdelyi), Dictators singer and radio personality Handsome Dick Manitoba (Richard Blum), Patti Smith guitarist and journalist Lenny Kaye, and Blondie co-founder and guitarist Chris Stein — will convene at the YIVO Institute for Jewish Research on Thursday, June 11, to discuss the glorious heyday of New York punk, the arc of their individual careers, and the impact their Jewish experience has had on their music.

Like Sandy Koufax to baseball, these fine men will give you a better appreciation of the impact they had on their craft. And just think, if they can still be considered “chosen ones,” then there’s hope for all of us.

For more information on the panel or to purchase tickets, go here.

There are few people who helped transform the New York City punk scene more than Joey Ramone. Even if only as an icon of New York in the late 70s, Joey helped define a generation of punks as well as a certain country and bluegrass club. So as we approach what would’ve been his 58th birthday tomorrow [May 19], it only makes sense that said bluegrass club — CBGB’s — would be hosting an online chat, featuring family and friends remembering the late Ramones frontman, today.

The official CBGB UK Webstore will be hosting an online chat today. Entitled, Remembering Joey Ramone: An Hour of Stories, Anecdotes and Reflection, it will be moderated by Iran Robbins of Trouser Press and feature Joey’s brother Mickey Leigh and longtime friend and manager Dave Frey as the MCs. It will take place at 8pm (GMT); 3pm (East Coast time) and 12pm (West Coast time) and if you have stories or just memories of the iconic punk, you are encouraged to share them. You can sign up for the online chat here.

And if that’s not enough for you, Mickey Leigh will be hosting the official Joey Ramone birthday bash tomorrow at the Fillmore at Irving Plaza in NYC. With performances by Fishbone, The Supersuckers and Death, as well as special appearances by the likes of George Tabb, Handsome Dick Manitoba and many more, it’s sure to be filled with punk rock parents.

Metallica, the bay-area giants that legitimized “thrash metal” with albums like Kill ‘Em All, Master of Puppets, …And Justice For All and “The Black Album” were welcomed into the hallowed confines of The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame on April 4, 2009.

Their inclusion, though absolutely deserving in every conceivable way, poses a wider question to my ever curious mind: Will the inclusion of now two “metal” acts, (Black Sabbath being the other. Let’s face it, Led Zeppelin and The Who don’t count as metal.) clear the way for other metal and proto-metal acts?

The governing body of “The Hall” is still skittish when inductions are concerned. The Hall has inducted piano music lightweight Floyd Cramer, but has passed up The Stooges. They’ve welcomed jazz “rockers” Steely Dan and the doo-wop group The Moonglows, but took forever to induct The Ramones and The Talking Heads. So, what would make you think The Hall will get heavier anytime soon?

There are several bands that fall into the metal, punk, thrash and hardcore categories that are entirely deserving of the honor of induction. Here is a list of bands that are eligible and in my mind, should be included. Bare with me, it’s a short list.

Motorhead: Without Lemmy Kilmister and the boys, the genre of thrash (and Metallica) probably would never have existed. Their album, Ace of Spades, is a benchmark of lawn killing volume and speed.

Megadeth: Dave Mustaine, former member of Metallica, focused all his aggression and hatred into classic ear splitting albums such as Rust in Peace, Peace Sells… But Who’s Buying?, Countdown to Extinction and Killing is My Business and Business is Good. And as an added bonus, the band takes it’s name for the loss of lives from a nuclear detonation. Now that’s Metal.

MC5: The Detroit based house band for the Black panther Party was the first to “Kick Out The Jams”. Their explosive shows, incendiary guitar work of Fred “Sonic” Smith and Wayne Kramer and controversial political stances helped set the stage for both punk and metal.

The Stooges: Again, another band that helped in the invention of metal and punk. For god sake, listen to Raw Power and tell me Iggy Pop and his Ann Arbor, Michigan brethren don’t belong.

Black Flag: No they aren’t metal, but hardcore punk arose from the “forbidden beat” created by metal and more precisely, Motorhead. Black Flag gave birth to thousands of punk and thrash bands either by groups attempting to copy their sound or by guitarist Greg Ginn’s indie record label SST.

The Melvins: Masters of sludge and drone, no Melvins equals no Nirvana. No Nirvana equals none of the good bands and some of the bad (I’m talking to you, Bush and Candlebox) that appeared in the 1990’s wake of “Smells Like Teen Spirit”.

Judas Priest: Rob Halford is the King of the 1980’s wave of British Metal. British Steel is an album for the ages.

And there is just a taste of the metal, thrash, hardcore and punk bands that have shaped the musical landscape over the past 30+ years that are up for induction. They have all, either directly or indirectly, changed the public’s perception of what is great, what is groundbreaking, what is acceptable and what is not. And in the process have warped my brain for the better.

I must extend my congratulations to Metallica. They truly are one of the greats of this or any other time. Who knows, maybe next year someone from my list will be asked into The Hall, but my bet is that the voters will probably go with The Carpenters instead. Man, could they wail!

Nathan Williams’ current wavve of attention has been helped by incessant touring — so far in this young year he’s toured around the world, including at least six shows here in NY.. and he’s playing again tonight at Mercury Lounge.

A quote from a Ramones documentary claimed that if you slowed down their songs you’d get The Beach Boys. Although WAVVES acknowledges that his music is pop, his flirtations with noise, ambient and lo-fi have helped win him an adoring indie fanbase. Yet last night’s Cake Shop performance was, at least to me, distinctly punk rock – 30 fast-paced minutes, dimly lit hot packed basement, the smell of sweat, dancing and pushing. No need for any shouts of “1234.”

The songs sounded good live. I’ve always enjoyed WAVVES live better than on record. The song “To The Dregs,” in particular, was a highlight. At the end of the (first) brief set, the audience demanded more, to which Williams asked drummer R.W. Ulsh “do we even know any more songs?” Apparently so: the rare encore featured, if my memory serves me correctly, “California Goths” into a solo (and great) “Weed Demon.”

*Sub par photos due to bad lighting:

You can download a free 16 page sample of Ramones First West Coast Tour, 1976, Highlights, V1 or purchase the book driectly from her website.

Jenny Lens

Dedicated to those songs that I can’t stop playing, humming, or thinking about; the 4+ minutes you fall head-over-heels in love with. Past instances have included Radiohead’s “Optimistic,” My Morning Jacket’s “Evil Urges”, and Led Zeppelin’s “C’mon Everybody.”

Like every music lover on the planet, I have a very complicated relationship with Ike & Tina. For that matter, Tina Turner herself had a very complicated relationship with Ike & Tina. Ike Turner was, in the best light, a world class dick head. A talented, rock ‘n’ roll volcano of a dick head, but dick head nonetheless. His mistreatment of Tina have become so well documented that they’ve become inseparable with the legend of “Ike & Tina.” You can’t listen to their music any more without reading into it. This was rich music to begin with, but with a story behind it, the music becomes that much more interesting. In a similar fashion, previously so-so movies like “Interview With A Vampire” and “Conspiracy Theory” have become fascinating since the stars of those movies have gone wacky.

The allure of Ike & Tina’s music remains strong as ever, and when I began my music collection in earnest during college, they made my early list of grabs. But like a neglected Netflix queue, they lingered in collection limbo. I don’t know if I’ll ever stop bumping movies ahead of “Far From Heaven,” but a few years ago I finally pulled the trigger by picking up a collection of Ike & Tina, mostly for “River Deep, Mountain High.” The song digs so deep into what rock ‘n’ roll should sound like that you wonder if you’ll ever bother listening to “Proud Mary” again. Obviously “Proud Mary” remains fantastic in all the ways Ike & Tina were, but it’s nowhere near the atomic bomb of “River.” I had my song and I was “happy.”

Only “happy” though. Discussing the Turners without eventually mentioning how Ike abused his wife feels disrespectful. In fact, that’s what kept me away from buying the album for so long. Even though my better judgement informed me that I wouldn’t be directly supporting or endorsing spousal abuse, I didn’t enjoy its proximity. It’s uncomfortable. Enjoying this music sometimes felt like watching someone get mugged and not telling anyone about it or helping the victim. I just felt dirty after.

I’m not tactless enough to infer that the Turners’ marital problems made their music better, but I am stupid enough to assume that the knowledge of such problems makes their music more interesting. So when you take that powerful story and put it behind something as monumentally rocking as “River Deep”, then you’ve got the balls. When she starts out singing about that rag doll (the only doll she ever owned), I believe her. It feels authentic. I know Tina was born poor and struggled her young life to make ends meet, so it’s only natural to assume that she pulled from these experiences to give such lines strength. This would lead me to believe she either really, truly, honestly loves someone in the chorus, or she’s just the greatest actress/performer in the world. Or maybe both. Whatever the reason, I believe it because she believes it, and through her sincerity, my fears drop away and I sing along. Scream along. Dance along.

On the other hand, whenever any bit of historical context returns it makes the song weird again. It’s essentially a love song, or at least an “I Love You” song, so when Tina blasted out how her love gets stronger “in ev-a-ry way,” was she really thinking about Ike? Was she pretending to think about Ike, but deep down was thinking of escaping from his grip? Did this fool him, or did he see through it and just get angry? Or did she really actually love the guy and he still got pissed off at her? I only call it “fascinating” while qualifying that “fascinating” just means it’s very, very interesting.

Since it’s impossible to completely remove the complexities of the band from this song, perhaps a new tactic could prove more successful. This tactic comes in the form of one of my favorite hypothetical questions: which five songs would you play if aliens landed and they asked you about rock ‘n’ roll? “My Generation” usually gets kicked in, as does a healthy dose of Ramones and such. The thinking friend will consider the gravity of the situation more closely. These aliens are beings who have never heard a rock song in their whole existence (if they do, in fact, age as we do). They need to hear a song which not only exemplifies the standards of rock music, but elevates those standards beyond normal human capabilities.

These aliens would be presented Tina Turner’s vocals, Ike’s big-nuts backing instrumentation, and one of Phil Spector’s best production jobs (which is saying something, but the aliens would never know the difference). Translated with an amazing pill, they would wonder aloud, “Are all flute solos as ‘kick ass’ as the one in this song?” Their disappointment in the fact that most flute rock is not as good would be quickly forgotten by the return to the pre-chorus, and they would pine for the ability to grow hair so that they might toss it around in an Earthling manner. Without any knowledge of the strange emotional baggage behind the song, the aliens would still understand what it is to rock hard, and they would choose this song to perk up any party, mix, or long space flight to the store. They wouldn’t understand the concepts behind the words, but the truth behind the song would ring inside their mighty brains. They would most likely assume that the female Tina truly loved her mate Ike, and we Earthlings would quickly change the subject while avoiding eye contact.

Video & Song Note: To complicate matters, there are many versions of the song. I’m talking mostly about this rock-roots style of bad ass seen in the attached video. Search out the other version, but I think you’ll find this version to be far superior not only to the other version of this song, but to most music in general.

Written By Phillip Mottaz

Ike Turner
Tina Turner